Objects in mirror are stranger than they appear...



I don't know if this post is one long caveat or what but I feel its important to lay out some ground rules. Anyone is free to tell me if and where I am out of line. I post alot here but this isn't new behavior for me. Most of my gigs have involved lots of writing of technical stuff drier than a popcorn fart. I ran my own website in one form or another since the infancy of the www. Being an alpha-geek meant I even ran my website from my own hardware, because the hosting company and ISP offerings just weren't fast enough. Of course the downside of that is now that my writings have been relegated to the dustbins of digital history, they have also been relegated to the actual dustbins of Kalamazoo, Lynchburg, Ventura, Millbrae and Henderson.
In other words, gone. So folks read what I write here and sometimes it seems to help someone...this makes me happy but also scares the poo out of me. Aside from the obvious fact that each dementia is unique, I always feel I need to put an asterisk next to what I write reminding them I have dementia, so please consider the source. There is no greater salesman in the world than that one who believes in his product with his life and soul.
Well as the dementia sets in, there is always the chance of out and out delusions, thats just plain statistics. However as I have seen, delusions tend to be easier to spot. What worries me are the things that become norms in my life as things change, things that are simply not so in "the real world."
Right now for me its how long things take, how hard or simple a thing is, reading other people and situations. More than that, while this part still mystifies me, I recognize there are different folks out there with this going on, some are like me, very pro-active and others prefer the head-in-the-sand approach, with a lot in between. Since most things I will try or strive for will further the proactive approach, that may not be right for someone else.
As for how long I will do this, I have drawn a line in the sand, so to speak. I have a pretty definite point after which it would do more harm than good to continue to post and interact with others on a routine basis. Also, once I start to realize that list of things that exist only for me is growing, it is time to go. This is for the benefit of readers that don't know I have been diagnosed with dementia in the specific and being full of shit in the general. In fact, I think it would be a fantastic thing for Christian to work out a setting for the profile where we specify patient or caregiver. Then when posting an additional small icon would tell the reader exactly who was coming up with the words, the ones with dementia or the ones without dementia (caregivers). In short, they would know who they were talking to.
As I have seen things progress, I have a pretty good idea when that will be; i have been depressingly accurate with my estimates so far. Who knew great project management would help with this. So for now, folks can take my words as long as they take this caveat along with them: I will never knowingly mislead anyone; if something seems out of place, ask me because my kind of aphasia slides right past most auto-checkers and my own two eyes.
Say you met someone on the bus going down-town. You are from an average neighborhood and so ask them whats the hardest thing about living where the other rider hails from. They reply: Oh its all the constant slayings in the night!
First this seems bizarre considering you heard of none of it, second the other person looks at you funny when you relate the worst thing about where you live is the parking situation. This person is clearly nuts.
What you don't know is that this person caught the bus back on Elm St. (as in, The Nightmare On...) so slashings are the norm and in the face of that, giving a crap about parking spaces seems lunacy indeed.
Both are right and truthful from their own perspective and current situation. This is what I mean and this brings me to my last exit trip-wire: someone takes what I say seriously and someone gets hurt or suffers for it. By intention or not, I would carry that for a long time, perhaps more time than I have.

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