|Help from above...|
Project started, grow page and journal is here:
Operation: Constant Clarity
This is one of the most difficult posts I have had to write, mostly because I "had" to. Allow me to explain and I promise by the end you will not only understand the "difficulty" and the "had to" bit but also I hope you come away with a few new assumptions or conclusions, you pick and if all that passes you by, perhaps you will find illumination as this is some serious "dementia from the inside out" kinda shit.
The 18:1 Theory
Before I tell you what happened, please recall I have expressed a theory or hypothesis on the effects of a cannabis extract/concentrate that tests out to have a CBD:THC ratio of 18-1 on the demented mind. By demented I mean any brain with not just dementia but anything that alters so-called normal operation. I don't mean anything like it fixes everything, rather there are things that are fixed by this like PTSD and ADD that you would not initially expect. I know I didn't. I simply knew from empirical data that it lifted my fog, made my cognitive processes not only clearer but quicker, my speech smoothed out, I could walk way better and most important I was interested, curious and engaged in life. I took that for granted. The cool thing about the right combination like that is when taken through vaporization the effects are damned-near immediate and can last for hours, with not psychoactive effects at all. This get fixed in your head for a while. The closest thing to fun it is maybe is if you like a working brain and miss it. Sometimes, to some of us, functioning can be the greatest buzz of all.
As the comedians used to say, I told ya that story so I could tell ya this one....
For a very long time after discovering this I had plenty of this at my disposal. I lived in the recreationally legal state of Nevada and you would think a cornucopia of medicine would be available but no. The two meds I get the absolute most good for my dementia and LBD out of are not "party" drugs and so now are getting tough to find. Many dispensaries just don't get that if they claim to be medical, they need to be medical.
As a result of another dispensary dropping the ball it took a month of not having any for the difference to show up on my regular neurologist visit. She along with my caregiver had noted the decline in cognitive function from even 30 days prior. She in fact set me up with a PET scan to check for any sudden changes, so it wasn't just me "feeling different."
Another month goes by, my efforts to secure anything locally kept coming up snake-eyes (crappy local joke intended) and...I can't and won't try to state the lack of meds caused this set of circumstances but the presence of them broke the cycle and is returning me to two months ago it feels.
You see, I have had sciatica a few bad times and if you have had it, you know how hard it is to treat. Well guess how I discovered the 18:1? By looking for something for nerve pain and presto the pain is dealt with. Its not a perfect fix because it only lasts until you do something stupid like flex the lower spine and re-pinch the nerves causing the pain in the first place. So if you stay immobile, watch TV etc and do the CBD, you will win and feel better and with sciatica, to me, better for even a little while allowing sleep can make all the difference in the world.
Not having a fix for it though, when the sciatica flares up 30 days into this its like it steals about half of what I have to expend each day. Part of that killed what little ability to eat I retained (also helped by the CBD) and as a result I was down to 129, getting close to a danger zone for me. Having been low before I know the feeling when I am too low because my ribs ache unmercifully until I put some pounds back on. It means not taking a deep breath, something else that makes sleep pleasant.
So after a month in that state I was barely getting through days, I might get up for a while then not knowing what else to do, would go back to bed, maybe play video games, maybe watch old shows but kind of phoning it in the whole way. I knew eating would fix the ribs but I just could not marshal whatever I had to in order to eat enough to fix this.
In short I was miserable and could not function. I was seriously not living life at all, not even as a spectator. Randy and I shared notes through this; he has been having some fun of late as well. Our common unspoken fear was this current fog was interminable, that we would be stuck in this for the rest of our lives; this could be our new "norm."
Then in a moment of desperation, inspiration not sure which but knowing that the perfect 18:1 cartridge was available anywhere in a foreign land, I made some deals and long story short, a small supply of the precious 18:1 medicine arrived two days ago and its what has happened since I want for people to understand.
First, I am more convinced than ever about this unique blend of 18:1. I got the package at 16:00 (4:00pm for you civilians), I had one screwed onto a waiting 510 battery at 16:05 (had problems with wrapper) and by 16:07 I was feeling the effects and after four hits I suddenly shut off the brain-dead show I had been watching (original season one of Star Trek: TOS) and switched to something with alot more plot and story (Steven Kings The Stand) that I watched all in one sitting. Like 8 hours of show; it was a mini-series back in the '90s with four two-hour segments detailing the end of the world, good vs evil, how cool can Gary Senise be, heavy stuff like that. Point is anything even in that ballpark of complexity has been off the table for some time now. This returned widening of the media horizons persists to this writing.
Better news though is my appetite came roaring back, and this is after a month of using high-THC meds for pain control (and feeling no hunger). This has helped the ribs immensely alleviating a pain that can be a thought-process-ender for me. Last night I was chowing a plate full of vegetables after a cookie sheet of red skin taters and followed by about two dozen treat boxes of Nerds candy; found the boxes all over hell the next morning. Snicker; used to be beer bottles but thats another story.
Anyhow more than I had eaten in a week. So that helps.
I have retained the curiosity and interest in things, plus an interest in accomplishing things I want to, very important to me. I would mail a cartridge of this to every demented person in America if I could. Much of the cognitive stuff has returned or is returning. This would make this seem like a miracle fix and from a perspective (you have dementia and hate it), it can be. However the point of this blog is not to sell you on cannabis or anything for that matter...the is and always been the truth from the POV of the LBD patient going through the MCI stage.
As such as perfect as it seems, something isn't right yet. Its like I have been returned control of the engine but its missing gas or something from lack of use. That last statement implies a hope for down the road but for the moment, I can want to do stuff but getting the brain-power together to do it takes effort beyond which I am capable right now, more than I have "gas" for. Its not magic.
Still, it has only been a few days and maybe with a few more days of food, a few more days of having the sciatica robbing me of thought most of the time, I might be back. Hope so.
As of right now though, in this engineers heart there is zero doubt there is serious medical efficacy here and I wish someone who lives longer than I will pursue it; mothers and fathers everywhere will love you for it. I am sure of this as I am of sunrise tomorrow and will do everything in my ability to ensure a supply of this as long as I am not a house-plant, because it does indeed help me get the most out of every minute, and best of all my wife says it gives her more of the old me as well, making her happy.