Skip to main content

A Small Victory




When I first started noticing the symptoms of my slow walk into oblivion, it wasn’t uncommon for me to walk to another part of the house for something and forget what I was after by the time I got there . But it was by no means the norm. We all joked about it. Things like apparently I was getting older because the senior moments sure were setting in firmly.

However, almost two years post diagnosis I almost never remember why I go from one area of the house to the other unless there is someone or something there to remind me and even then that doesn’t always mean success. That’s what made an event that occurred a couple of days ago so special. I walked into the kitchen to get something and, as per usual, I had no idea why I was there when I arrived. In the beginning, I would have stood and anguished over the forgotten item for several long minutes. But that routine has become so tiresome and frustrating over time that I have almost stopped giving extraordinary effort into remembering why I am there. I think about it for a short time and usually go on my way. Where ever that may be.

This occasion seemed to be no different. I stood there several minutes trying to remember why I had come to this room, had no idea, and turned to leave the room. Several steps on my way to my next misadventure it hit me! I was there to pick up a roll of paper towels from the pantry. Finally, I had been victorious over my flagging mind. I was exhilarated! Just this simple act of completing a task I had taken for granted as being so simplistic my entire life had brightened my entire day. I think I actually let out a little, “Yes!” or something to that effect because it so concerned my wife that she asked what was wrong and started toward me. When I explained my excitement, she laughed with me and went back about her business.

As this insidious disease advances victories become more and more difficult to come by. That’s why even minor ones such as this should and must be celebrated. Even if they are relatively cheap thrills.

Y’all have yourself a great day.

Randy

Comments

  1. Randy; just wait, it gets better. Innate curiosity is a bitch. Nowadays when I encounter this situation the thought-process goes like this:

    Me: WTF am I doing in this room?
    Brain:...
    Me:...Ok then, next question: what is *entertaining* or *interesting* in this room (glancing about)?

    And....thats it, the end of whatever I was trying to do in the first place, the initial task as forgotten as your first shit.

    Whatta ride this is turning out to be...

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dementia Cannabis Update

Update: 22 July
Project started, grow page and journal is here:

Operation: Constant Clarity


This is one of the most difficult posts I have had to write, mostly because I "had" to. Allow me to explain and I promise by the end you will not only understand the "difficulty" and the "had to" bit but also I hope you come away with a few new assumptions or conclusions, you pick and if all that passes you by, perhaps you will find illumination as this is some serious "dementia from the inside out" kinda shit.

The 18:1 Theory
Before I tell you what happened, please recall I have expressed a theory or hypothesis on the effects of a cannabis extract/concentrate that tests out to have a CBD:THC ratio of 18-1 on the demented mind. By demented I mean any brain with not just dementia but anything that alters so-called normal operation. I don't mean anything like it fixes everything, rather there are things that are fixed by this like PTSD and ADD that you …

Be Who You Actually Are

Many moons ago I was starting my day like many of us enjoying the gifts of dementia by spending most of it screwing up each and every thing I attempted to do, large or small and usually in ways both spectacular as well as costly.  On the verge of tears I spent about an hour medicating with my very best botanicals when I had the BFO (Blinding Flash of the Obvious, engineer-speak): I am still attempting to be something that I am not only NOT but barring acts of a supreme deity, never will be again. Its just that damned simple.

* What makes a persons personality unique is the precise set of influences, patterns of thinking, lifetime experiences or memories amongst many other things. These are all stored and/or controlled by the brain.

* The root cause of dementia is damage to select portions of the brain.

* For better or worse, the simple truth is that this will result in a different person. Not better or lesser, simply different, in the same way that any two coworkers might be very dif…

Holy Crap Batman! A hero with dementia!

Braven 2018
Hey kids, I ran across something you just HAVE to watch. I mean you as in readers of these words. Looking for entertainment last night I was scrounging some of the dodgier parts of the Internet for something not involving a cape or "found footage" to watch. Long story short I ran across something from this year (2018) called Braven, starring Jason Mamoa (Aquaman/Ronin on Stargate Atlantis) and Stephen Lang (the major hard-ass in Avatar).  Plot reads like a B-roll actioner, drug dealers drop in on county folk and try to take them on their own turf. I agree, major tired plotline BUT......
Here is the kicker: The country folks (Mamoa/Lang) are in the cabin in the woods kinda thing because Lang (plays Mamoas dad) has alzheimers (he blames it on some Vietnam injury but...) and got into a fight at a local bar, thinking some girl was his dead wife out on the town. 
Of course Jason beats everyones ass in proper manner as it should be but thats why these two are in the c…