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Dealing with the surreal..


This happened to me today. I woke up, sat on my sofa whilst sipping my morning coffee...and as I looked about the room I realized I recognized hardly anything. Our home has (by accident or design) become a kind of monument for the things we have done in our lives together, kinda like Batmans trophies in the Batcave. Each evokes a specific memory of a time and or emotion.

Today there was none of that; stuff seemed vaguely familiar but in same way that when you see something fun at the store and think to yourself this would be cool to have in my home....so you know already its cool and you will like it in your heart but you and it have no history together (yet) so its a sterile kind of love....in the same way a picture of food will not nourish a starving person, our lifetime collection of stuff looked cool, looked like stuff I would want and collect...but it didn't look like it was "mine" yet. Really weird.

I wish I could say that it all passed in a moment but that would be a lie...its like memories of these things are coming back in like layers or something so some is back but definitely not all....I can tell you where some things came from but others? Others I am not even sure if they are mine or not.....so sure that if for some reason there was a need I would toss them in the trash to make room for something else with no sense of loss....even though somewhere down deep I feel vague sure that these ARE important things and I will DIE if I throw them out but the feeling is there and its real....


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